Lost

Today was supposed to be fantastic.  Stellar.  A Family Day for the record books. 

The St. Louis Zoo on a 70 degree day.  It was a packed house less than an hour after it opened. Both Coop and Daddy were recovering from being sick.

We were having a knock-down good time.

We saw the jaguars, the tigers, and my favorite, the penguins.

But then something terrible happened.

I LOST MY DAUGHTER.

One minute she was right in front of me – 4 feet away, looking through glass at the hippos, and THE NEXT SECOND, as I started to walk toward her – SHE WAS GONE.

I turned to my husband, “Where’s Delaney?”

He couldn’t see her. 

I called her name.  Nothing. I pushed through the crowd, “Delaney?” Still nothing.  My heart started to race.  I was finding it hard to breathe. But still, I had my voice, louder (and quivering)  this time, “Delaney?”

Silence.  My ears had turned out anything that didn’t sound like her voice.  I was waiting on the trembling, “Mommy??” that I knew was on the tip of her tongue, where ever she was. I was trying desperately to conjure up everything she was wearing…..just in case.

And then a bellow from only a few feet away, “Did somebody lose a kid?”

I answered with what I am certain could only be a screech, “Yes!!!” and all but threw my body in the direction of the man’s voice.

Fortunately people could sense my panic (and Delaney’s) and moved out of my way.

In seconds I had scooped her up and we were both crying. I thanked the air around me because the man had already walked away.

This all happened in about 4 minutes.  It felt like 4 hours.

Earlier in the day, Delaney had turned around and not seen me right away, though I could see her.  With tears in her eyes, she ran to me and glued herself to my legs, “Mommy, I thought you lost me.”  And you know what I said?  “Baby, I will NEVER lose you!”

So much for promises from Mommy.

Seven hours later, the guilt is still hanging over me like a cloud.

Prayers that included, “Please don’t ever let Mommy and Daddy lose me again.”, probably didn’t help.

I lost her.  How could I do that?  She was RIGHT THERE…..and then she was gone.

Fortunately, I have a happy ending…but what if….