Dear Reader,
I came dangerously close to losing whatever Mommy street cred I currently possess.
This may have happened to you.
I hyperventilate just a touch as I write. Because, quite honestly, I am not ready for the repercussions of my actions. I love that my small people still believe….
You see this face right here? Or, more accurately, the mouth attached to that sweet little face? It is now missing it’s 6th tooth. A friend recently asked if they make dentures for small people. If they do, this small girl would be a candidate. Those two top teeth are missing, and now – the 6th tooth( THANKFULLY – the only remaining loose one) and the latest to fall is the bottom left.
It happened on Sunday while we were at the mall. Sunday night I was up until 2am finishing the last chapter of the book which HAD.TO.GET.DONE. I stumbled to bed. Exhausted. And relieved.
And, you guessed it…. FORGETTING TO BE THE DAMN TOOTH FAIRY. This is a first. I had never before forgotten.
The small girl was in my bed on Monday morning. I actually said, ‘hey, what are you doing here?’ and in my best cartoon-esque impersonation attempted to shove every last syllable backintomymouthimmediately because it hit me as the words came tumbling out that I had failed in an epic way.
“Mommy…. I can’t WAIT to see what the Tooth Fairy left me.”
“Me too, Baby…. but first, you know you have to go to the bathroom…. no, not in your bathroom…use mine!”
AND. THEN. I. RAN.
I dashed into my closet, grabbed two coins from my Tooth Fairy stash (my old silver bank that houses the Silver Dollars the Tooth Fairy left ME as a child) as quickly I could, and bolted to the small girl’s room. I tossed her pillow aside, grabbed the Tooth bag, cursed the double knot (can you hear me hyperventilating as I share this?) shook the tooth loose – YOU KNOW I DROPPED THE DASTARDLY THING ON THE FLOOR – snatched it back up – deposited the coins – and quickthrewitallbackinplace….
BREATHE….
I was next door in Cooper’s room…. itty-bitty tooth clutch tightly in my left hand when the sweet girl came to me, hand outstretched….
“Mommy… Look, I got a quarter and….what do you think this is? I bet Daddy will know….”
Are you KIDDING ME?
I grabbed an ARCADE TOKEN? (who even knows why I had one in my bank….likely a remnant from my childhood)
The stupid thing actually says NO CASH VALUE on the back of it…. If this was, in fact a cartoon, this would be the moment I bang my head up against the closest wall. Instead, I smile, tell her I’m certain the Tooth Fairy meant for me to trade with her – and we proceeded to drop it in the coin jar before she decided to read it.
Again…. are you kidding me?
I’ve actually sat up at night hand writing responses from the Tooth Fairy. She has a name. No kids. A job. White wings. Loves what she does…. and somehow, of all the coins, in all the world? An arcade token. Please.
Can’t wait for the small dude to start losing them.
Oh and my favorite…. I relay the story to my husband…. you know they guy who has never donned the white wings? He says, “why didn’t you just grab another silver dollar?”
As if the Marathon, the Arcade Token and the lying were all part of the plan.
*sigh*
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