Nothing makes a Mommy feel classy and collected like visiting your OBGYN (who I ADORE, by the way) for your annual appointment with your kids in tow.
All you can do is smile, keep your arm stretched firmly in place to keep them from wandering south and mutter, ‘just making sure Mommy is ok’, when your four year old looks warily towards the end of the table and mumbles, “Mommy, what is she doing to you?”
Let’s be clear – it all started because, well, I am a moron. And I mean a big one.
Last week was Spring Break. So, naturally, I assumed today would be the day to return to school. I even believed this as friends told me their kids were off. I assumed and believed WRONG. However, the enlightening ‘there is no school today moment’ did not happen as I packed a lunch box, weaseled Coop’s feet into his shoes, or grabbed the backpack to head out the door.
My you-have-got-to-be-flippin’-kidding-me-moment came as I approached the school and there were NO cars in the parking lot – save for the one lone Yukon pulling out. (I’m not alone!) And yet, I circled the school, just to be sure.
I then sat in the parking lot to Twitter about it – certain there would be another mother who understood – or at least someone who could make me laugh about it. I also posted my faux pas on Facebook – I figured my friends could use the Monday Morning laugh.
And, yes, they laughed.
And, I proceeded to my appointment. God love my doctor for letting the kids come back with me – and for being so darn quick at the whole miserable thing.
The good news is – the kids do not seem to be scarred by today’s episode. At least they haven’t mentioned anything since we left the office. Of course, that really means nothing. My daughter could decide to reminisce about “Mommy laying on that table with no pants on” at our next neighborhood BBQ.
Wouldn’t that be fun?
Stop laughing.
Clearly, I am scarred.
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