Phone Rings.
“Hello?”
“Is your refrigerator running?”
“Ummmm…Sure, I guess.”
“You better go catch it.”
Click.
I feel bad for my kids and the entire iGeneration or @Generation or whatever you call the Generation that was born after Gen X and Gen Y. My kids and their friends will never get to experience the thrill of the “Prank Call.” Well, I guess they could, but wow, it’s going to be a lot more work for them.
Remember sitting at your house on a Saturday night when you were 23 years of age, er, 13 years of age, and blasting out calls to your friend’s land lines. There was no Caller ID or Star 69 or definitely no SmartPhones. It was the wild-wild-west of tele-communication. You were really cool if you had your own line with your own number, different from your parents. I was not cool. Shocking!
School Phone Book in hand, you chose the number to a girl you liked. Then, you and a buddy would call the number, and ask for Lisa. Of course, it was 11pm, and Lisa’s Dad would answer. Then, the following conversation would take place…
“Hello? (in a deep, baritone voice)
“Ummm…may I (stammering) speak to Lisa please?”
“Who is this? It’s 11 o’clock at night.”
“This is Zack Morris from Bayside High. I’m sorry to call so late, but I wanted to ask your daughter to the Teen Town Dance next Friday.”
“Listen Zack or whatever the hell your name is… Lisa is asleep (yeah right)… Do your parents know you’re calling this late (of course they do, they think it’s freakin’ hilarious)? What are your parent’s names?”
“Myron and Mona Morris.”
“Myron and Mona Morris?”
“Yes sir… Everyone calls them M and M for short…you know, like the candy?”
“M and M?”
“Yes sir, because they’re both so sweet.”
“Oh, okay, Zack, whatever you say…Listen to me…Don’t call my house again…or…I’ll call your parents … or … call the cops and tell them I have Zack Morris from Bayside High calling my house… In fact, I’ve never heard of Bayside High… Where is that located?”
“Right at the corner of ‘You’re the man Drive and Time for me to Hang up Avenue.’ “
“Hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Click.
Followed by 30minutes of uncontrolled laughter between the caller (you) and your pal.
Gosh, I miss those days. The inventor of Caller ID, which started this whole mess, owes a big apology to the iGen…and to me too for that matter.
My kid’s only chance to experience this thrill is to call a Work Phone (not as fun) during their hours of operation (who prank calls during daylight … well, besides me), ask for the person that they’re trying to prank call (assuming that person is employed…I mean working that day), then proceed on to the prank call without getting that person in too much trouble. A prank call is supposed to be harmless fun (unless the darn cat really is stuck in the tree). Oh, and the @Gen will have to call from a line other than their own because of Caller ID and GPS and future technology which will have the “cops” staring at them before the call is over.
So, this message to iGen@Gen, enjoy your Smart Phone, your app that does your homework for you, that GPS that can pinpoint exactly where you mis-placed said homework, and whatever other technological gadget that will benefit you. But, I say this, you are missing out!!! There’s no greater thrill than making a grown man scream into his phone at midnight at a complete stranger who just happens to be less than half his age. Long Live the Prank Call!!!
Sincerely,
Johnny Dakota
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