“When I was your age….” A Daddy Diary

Are you kidding me?  I actually used this phrase this week when speaking to my 6-year old daughter.  For the first time in my life, I think that I feel “old.”  The following conversation took place last Saturday at a local movie theater prior to the trailers beginning…

“Hey Daddy, when can I have my own cell phone?” says the 6-year old while playing “Angry Birds” with her iTouch in one hand,

and eating popcorn with the other.

It’s really my iTouch, but I don’t have much use for it, so I’ve allowed my kiddos to mess around with it.  Lesson:  We have an iTunes account with our Mac and iTouch connected to a credit card.  Many apps cost a few George Washington’s and well, our kids have figured out how to download.  I learned this by looking at my last credit card statement.  My kids are 4 and 6!!!  And, so it begins.  Generation T-ech lives in my house.

Gen X Representative aka Daddy:  “You can have your own cell phone when you start High School, so when you’re 14,” replies the sage.

Generation Techs 1 aka Daughter: “Come on Dad, that’s a long time.  How old were you when you were able to have your own cell phone?” She turns off the iTouch.  This must be a serious conversation.

“26” is my answer.

Gen Techs 1:  “What?  Did Grandma and Grandpa not like you?”

Generation Techs 2 aka Son:  “Wow, Daddy, that’s old.”  He’s piling on.

Gen X:  “Okay, you two, listen closely.  Grandma and Grandpa loved me.  Well, they loved me most of the time”

Gen Techs 1:“Not when you spilled spaghetti on the white carpet.  Not when you played the drums on Grandma’s new furniture with a hair brush.  Not when you stuck tomatoes in your pockets, so you didn’t have to eat them at dinner.”

Gen X: “Okay, okay, wait a minute.  Who told you about all of that?”

Gen Techs 1“Grandma”

Gen X (thinks to himself, Darn Baby Boomers): “I’ll discuss that with her later.  Here’s my point.  When I was your age…”  (Ding, Ding, Ding, I just said it for the first time.  Whatever follows this phrase is going to age me.  I’ve never really felt old.  I’m 35.  I’m fine with being 35.  I’m not 65 and I’m not 5, I’m right in the middle and that’s cool with me, but now I’m getting grilled by 2 kids who are darn close to 5, and they have me on the run.)  “When I was your age, nobody had a cell phone.”

Gen Techs 1: “Well, then how did you talk to people?”

Gen X: “There was a phone on the wall?”

Gen Techs 1:  “Why would there be a phone the wall?  Why didn’t you wear it on your belt?  How would you feel it buzz?  Was there a screen to read the text messages?  We don’t understand.”

This is incredible.

Gen X: “There were no text messages.  The phone rings, I answer, and talk to the person calling me.”

Gen Techs 1: “Daddy, you’re telling me that you actually spoke into a phone that was hanging on a wall.  Daddy, you’re so silly.  You’re fibbing to us.  Did your head set come out of the wall?  Well, I guess you could have had a blue tooth, so that part might make sense.  What did it sound like when someone was calling you?”

Gen X: “It just rang”

Gen Techs 1:“It didn’t play a Miley Cyrus or Black Eyed Peas song?  That’s what Mommy’s phone does, and yours buzzes, so I don’t understand what “it just rang” means.”

This conversation is not happening.  I feel like Marty McFly in Back to the Future 2.

Gen X: “Yes, it just rang, almost like the doorbell I guess.  There was no music or buzzing.”

Gen Techs 1: “What?  There wasn’t any music when you were a kid?  You weren’t able to listen to Radio Disney on XM?”

Gen X: “Of course, there was music, although no XM, but there wasn’t any music that came from the phone.”

Gen Techs 1: “Okay, so there was music.  Whew, I thought you were going to tell us that you didn’t have an ipod?  Now, that would have been crazy.”

Keep in mind.  She’s 6, and this conversation really did happen.

Gen X: “Okay, Delaney and Cooper, this could go on forever, the movie is getting ready to start, so let’s watch okay?”

Gen Techs 2 (the son is rising): “Daddy, can you pass me the 3D glasses?  The screen is so far away.  It hurts my eyes.”

Gen X:  “Cooper, when I was your age…  Forget it.  Here are the glasses.”

Sincerely,

Old Man Daddy